Friday, January 11, 2013

Attraction: Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

So how exactly can we define Beauty? By a single phrase alone? I think not. Beauty is a complicated concept that varies from culture to culture, person to person, and is ever changing as a person develops and grows throughout their life.

The concept of beauty applies to persons, places, and things, and it’s the principle way we rate somethings desirability; be it a shiny apple we chose to eat for a mid-afternoon snack or more importantly, a person we may admire or desire.  

Everyones opinion of what is beautiful is different, as we all have probably realized from a very young age. What you believe to be beautiful can even be found to be quite repulsive to another, and that’s something we all have to cope with in life. It can be even worse when you look in the mirror and see yourself as beautiful, and then some mean-spirited person calls you out on your flaws. They speak spitefully about, lets say your curly hair—calling it frizzy and unruly, your piercings or tattoos—grotesque and ugly, your clothing choices, your body type, and finally what I’m getting at here, the person you may choose to love or why a person choses not to love you.

Now for the second definition, what is Attraction? Most simply put, it’s the things about another person that draws our attention, rouses our affections, evokes our interests. This could apply both romantically and non-romantically. Some people have a varied range of attributes they find attractive and they are very open-minded about different kinds of people, while others are quite specific (sometimes too specific) in their likes and dislikes. Neither one nor the other is wrong, but wouldn’t it be best to keep an open mind when seeking out another person, again be it romantically or non-romantically? Not that you should drop your taste level, but it’s unhealthy to shun someone away because of one or two minor attributes about them you don’t like. This idea has been subject to much debate.

So lets talk about romantics for a minute. First, I’ll give some personal insight. I’m the type of person who went into the relationship game with an open mind and an open heart. I found personality traits and similarity in interests to be much more important than physical attraction; not that it wasn’t a factor at all, it’s still very important, but it just wasn’t the most important to me. Because of that fact, I’ve found myself in a happy and healthy relationship with a person that I can not only love, but peacefully coexist with, which is ultimately the bottom line in a successful relationship. Ultimately, both people involved in the relationship must be physically attracted to the other person initially, but the true bonds are made on a much higher level. 

Let me ask, what would you rather? The most “beautiful” in the world as your significant other with the horrid personality, who berates and belittles you constantly, or the more “average” person with the amazing personality who understands and adores you for everything that you are? When you put it that way, the choice is simple. It is not impossible however to find that beautiful person with a beautiful heart, and that brings me back to defining “beauty”—it’s not only what’s on the outside, a cheesy line but it couldn't be more true. There really is no “average” person, to you that person IS the most beautiful person in the world for everything that they are.

There will always be someone who will disagree with your choice in love. Look at the friend who calls their friend’s boyfriend ugly and asks why they are even together just on physical looks alone, another that calls their friend’s girlfriend fat and asks why they aren’t with someone slimmer; the scenarios are endless. They can dislike their way of dress, or more extremely their race or cultural background; theres always something. Never lose sight of what’s important, which is your feelings for the one you choose to be with and what you have going for each other, everything and everyone else is secondary. 

Again, keep an open mind. You’ve heard it a million times before, don’t judge a book by its cover. Yes, there are certain varied things about people that flip off the light on your attraction, but always evaluate thoroughly your reasons why. There are some people out there that don’t give a single person the time of day unless they fit their ideal criteria; usually some fanciful convoluted dream that is near impossible to achieve in reality. 

Drop it.

If you’re still looking for that special person, be it short term or long term, it doesn’t matter, try starting off with a clean slate. No one is telling you “lower your standards” because you know what you want, but give yourself and another person a chance in the least. It sounds so simple, but sometimes it’s the farthest from. 

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” could not be a truer statement. Open your eyes for there is much to behold. 


  1. Good job Aria, can't wait to read more !

  2. Than you very much, there's a lot more planned to come!

  3. I may have to tweet this post. Good to see you being versatile on different topics like attraction, beauty, fashion...